We have friends who we've been friends with for several years now. Since just after Richard and I got together.
They have a daughter who turned 3 at the end of July. There's something noticeably wrong with her. I don't know what it is. There's only a handful of words she says that I can actually understand. Grace keeps up with her very well. She goes to an occupational therapist regularly, as well as a speech therapist. Since going to the ST there's been a noticeable difference in her speech. I could understand 1-2 words, where as now I can understand 4-5 words. But she's been going for several months. Obviously I've had no experience with the therapies. But at our wedding, people were constantly approaching me asking what was wrong with the little girl.
Our friends got a letter from the OT yesterday and when the mom was reading it, she said, and I quote, "I'm so -bleep-ing sick of these people. This is bull-bleep-. I asked what was wrong, and she quoted a sentence from the letter. It said "We have noticed that -Name- possibly has Autism or another type of learning disability." This made my friend extremely angry. They haven't wanted to get her tested for any type of disability, because they don't believe there's anything wrong with her. My question is how would you bring this up? It's obviously a very sticky topic with them. It just bothers me that they're not willing to have her checked out to see if there's really something wrong. I know all kids develop differently, but I have also gotten to see lots of kids at all different ages, and I've never seen a child who's almost 3.5 like this child.
I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way!

I wouldn't bring it up at all... obviously enough people are already. I'd just let the pediatrician and her parents handle things. Nobody wants anything to be wrong with their child and maybe they are just not ready to find out something is. Just give it time.. maybe nothing really is wrong with her and she is just taking her time with speech. My doctor told me that if Clarity wasn't talking by four, then we'd take the next step. She wasn't concerned, though everyone else around me was. Of course Clarity started just spilling out with the speech around three but seriously just a couple months before, she wasn't saying a word. And if something is wrong, they'll eventually face it and figure it out. I'm sure her pediatrician is keeping an eye on things.

If every one else is pushing it id back off. BUT im also of the mind set that if it were my child it cant hurt to have them evaled and if something comes up deal with it . The earlier the better. Does she show other signs of Autism ? Have you looked into to see what the traits tend to be. Id be real hestitant though to let the LABEL her . Thats there forever wether she is or isnt etc.

Have they checked her hearing and seen a ent to check for fluid and make 100% certain that thats not the issue? If shes not hearng she wont talk or clearly.

I agree, I would not bring it up unless she asks for your advice/opinion. As a teacher, I deal with lots of parents who don't want to have their kids labeled. I suppose they have their reasons, but it sure makes our job at school harder. Hopefully she'll come around and see what's in the best interest of her daughter.

I agree...its a sticky situation. since others are suggesting it just wait and see what happens, then if some time passes without anything maybe you can mention something.

I agree with the other ladies.

Yeah I wouldn't say anything at this point if everyone else is....now if it comes a point where it's either you say something or the child gets no help...then I am the type of person who would totally open my mouth!

I agree with Chelle.

See, I totally agree with all of you! Richard was trying to tell me that I should talk to them about it. As was my mom. I was kind of getting confused, so I thought I'd ask. It's definitely a tough situation. And if it comes down to them just not getting her help when they should be, that's when I'll say something.

If it wsere my own really good friend, I would use reverse psychology on her. lol I would say to get her tested so she can "prove" to them that nothing is wrong! Then she would maybe go get the testing, and the child gets looked at and assessed. Having a child with developmental disabilities myself, I have learned to be open and reactive to what others see in my kids. kwim?

Having to face that there may be something "wrong" with your child is very difficult. They need to come to it on there own terms. I hope she does come to accept there there may be something wrong and get the testing done. Just be there for her as a friend, or do as Monica said and try reverse psychology on her, that may be the one thing that works and it shows your friend that you are there for her, standing behind her.

Speaking from personal experience it took me almost 2 years to accept that there was something wrong with Justin, in those 2 years I had lots of friends telling me that there was something wrong and to get him tested, which I did to no avail, but I had no one to stand with me and just be my friend without pushing me to do something I wasn't accepting of.