I'm going to post this in the blended family section as well since that's what we are...

Our idea is to have my step-son and Kessler share a room (step-son's current room) and give Baby Squishy the nursey - since it is still decorated nursery style and I still LOVE the decorations - we won't have to re-do it... BIG bonus for us!! lol

But, there are a couple of questions that I have just fumbling around in my head... where do I even start?

Step-son is only there every other weekend. So, do we do the big switch on a weekend that he's there - or have Kessler already settled in for a week before Step-son sleeps in there also?

Do we have Step-son help at all - or do all the "work" while he's not there - rearranging furniture, setting up bunks, redecorating???

I am going to go through Step-son's room in the next week or two anyway and clean it out. It's VERY due! There are toys in there from last Christmas that he hasn't even opened yet - and it's time to go through and throw out ****!! I usually do it about once or twice a year - but I've slacked.

So, I think what I'll do is do an EXTRA thorough cleaning this time and take note of toys that can be "shared" by them (things that Kes won't get hurt on or break) and then take note on what Step-son has that will be kept in a locked trunk or toybox or something so that Kes can't get into it when Step-son isn't there...

Also - when will be the best time to do this switch?? Baby is due in March... I was thinking about having it done BEFORE Christmas so that I can find room in there for all the NEW toys that both of them will receive for Christmas and Birthday... (that's usually when I do the clean-up anyway, to make room for the ridiculous amount of **** that the inlaws give the kids for birthday/christmas...) Or should we try and wait until February when we've got all the new toys/gifts out of the way and try to do the move then?? Seems to me that it would be getting a little close to Squishy's due date and leave me little time to get it set up for the new baby??

What do you think? How would you do all of this if it were you? TIA

How old is the step son? i ask this becasue it may be better to have the baby and Kessler share a room than him and yoru ss. Or the ss and teh baby. The baby isnt gonna get into anything for a year really .How long did you keep Kessler with you in your room?

My step-son is 11, however acts/behaves more on the lines of a 5 year old. LOL

DH and I have discussed this and we just don't feel that it makes logical sense to keep SS's room to himself when he is only there for 4-5 days a month... We don't want the new baby sharing a room, so this was the decision we came up with...

When Kes was a baby he was only in our room for the first 5 or 6 months if I remember correctly...

if you are going to share a room, i would wait and have the step son participate so he feels like he was apart of something.

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if you are going to share a room, i would wait and have the step son participate so he feels like he was apart of something.

I agree, clean up and organize with the help of the step son so he feels included in the setting up of his room to share with his stepbrother.

quote:

if you are going to share a room, i would wait and have the step son participate so he feels like he was apart of something.

Well knowing the age id have the baby and step son share a room. The baby isnt going to get into things like a 2 year old would.

Or why not ask the ss whichi hed prefer to share with? That way hes got input there too.

We'd throught about that also - but it still had a couple of flaws.

- we already have a nursery all fully decorated. Baby can move into that and Kes can move up into a "big boy" room with his big brother complete with bunk beds and "big boy" decorations. We're planning a Cars themed room, since they BOTH love that movie and his room is already navy blue and Kessler has already acquired A LOT of Cars decorations...

- if you were 11 (he'll be 12 when baby is born), would YOU want to sleep in a nursery with a baby?

- the two of them get along really, really well. Heck, when SS is at our house he spends most of his time in Kes's room anyway playing with Kes's toys - so this would just make it that much easier for him, since they'll be in his room! lol

So, I think we've made that decision... it's just the transition now that I'm questioning...

Terry was 9-10 when Quinn was borna dn brittany was 8 . By teh time we moved toa house terryw as 11. Quinn went in his room with no trouble. He was in with Brittany before that . Then when we moved again he stayed in Terrys room. I was sugesting that from experiance. Id do it again that way if i had to. If you think The 2 boys will be fine then go for it. It may make the 11 year old jealous though to have a 2 year old in his room all the time even when hes not there.

Which would make more sense if they lived with us full-time. Actually, if they DID live with us full-time, we probably wouldn't be in this situation to begin with - but that's a whole 'nother story! LOL But, because the kids are only at our house 4-5 days a month (and that will probably lessen once their friends and activities start taking over), this just seemed the better option. I know of kids in blended family situations that don't even have a room at their other parents house - sleep on the couch or whatever. So, we think this is the most logical thing to do to make everyone happy. If we could have my step-kids share a room - we would - but they are a boy and a girl so that won't work...

I only saw you talk of a step son . Not more than one .

I have two step-kids - a girl that is 13 and a boy that is 11. At this point - all 3 kids have a room of their own. We added on when we got pregnant with Kes so that the baby would have it's own room. Also - at that time - my step-kids were spending about 50% of their time with us so it made sense that they needed "full" bedrooms at our house. However, their mother remarried and moved them away, so now we only see them every other weekend - hence the 4-5 days a month thing. And, since there isn't any possibility of more renovations to the house to "build" a 5th bedroom - we've opted to let the boys share for now vs. having the two babies that live there full-time share a room while the two other bedrooms get used only 4-5 days/month.

I'm just mostly looking into the best time to make this transition and what others experiences have been when they've moved kids together to create a room for a new baby.

Faith , know a bit about Sterling and your time constraints of only having a little bit of time with your kids I would give Ster a few choices of themes that you feel like he and Kes would be happy with. But let Sterling have the final choice for the theme. I would do all the decluttering yourself before he is there. Pick a weekend for painting and decorating with the kids. Be sure to give Sterling a place of his own like a cabinet with doors for just his stuff. This would also teach Sterling a bit of responsibilty in picking up "his things" if he doesn't want his little brother to touch them. Kessler is old enough that he knows that it is his home and that will be his room (because I am sure you will build it up that he is a big boy - as I would) I would let both boys spend the first night together in "their" room.

We are doing the same thing with our boys when we get in the new house. This is also a lesson I have been working with Brantley as well. He has plenty of toys that are special to him that Jonathan has found but I don't fault Jonathan, I warn Brantley to put it away.

Good Luck! I know it will work out and that the room will turn out great.

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Originally posted by heather817:
if you are going to share a room, i would wait and have the step son participate so he feels like he was apart of something.

I agree, this way he won't feel like he had no say in the matter or anything like that. My dad and step-mom moved my room when they had my little sister and they never even told me before they did it, and it caused major problems. (I was around your step son's age at the time). This way if you do it with him he can feel as though he had some control or input on the situation.

quote:

Faith , know a bit about Sterling and your time constraints of only having a little bit of time with your kids I would give Ster a few choices of themes that you feel like he and Kes would be happy with. But let Sterling have the final choice for the theme. I would do all the decluttering yourself before he is there. Pick a weekend for painting and decorating with the kids. Be sure to give Sterling a place of his own like a cabinet with doors for just his stuff. This would also teach Sterling a bit of responsibilty in picking up "his things" if he doesn't want his little brother to touch them. Kessler is old enough that he knows that it is his home and that will be his room (because I am sure you will build it up that he is a big boy - as I would) I would let both boys spend the first night together in "their" room.

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I agree! And I would add to this that I would do it several months before the new baby is here so it isn't as much change at once for Kes. Having a new sibling is a big change in itself so I would think you would want to move him to a new room several months before then so he wasn't feeling "replaced" by having the baby in his room

Thanks guys!!

Well, DH and I talked about it more last night to try and figure this out - as he noticed that I was stressing about it a bit - and he's not! lol We think we're going to do it this way... I'm going to get Sterling's room cleaned out now - this weekend. Cleaned out and organized (also gives me an inventory so I know where things can go, etc.) Then we're going to re-do his closet (it needs an organizer badly). We can do all of that now and it shouldn't be a problem with him... then once we tell them about the baby, we'll give it a bit of time and THEN let him know that they'll be sharing a room. We'll do it gradually when Sterling is there, so that he CAN help with the decorating, etc...

They're getting new bunk beds - DH will build them. And we're definitely giving Sterling his OWN space - shelves that are too high for Kes and we were thinking of a locked trunk - something that Kes can't get into. And part of the closet as well - probably not quite 1/2, but a portion of it.

But, I agree Ang - this could be a GOOD thing about responsibility for Sterling - since he seems to really need the help. On the other side, he doesn't seem to care much about his toys anyway, so maybe not. But, whatever the case - he WILL have the option/opportunity to have his "special" toys put away out of his brother's reach. There will also be some that I mandate to be put away - things that could hurt Kes, chokables, etc. since Sterling does have a lot of little things.

But, my first hurdle will be to clean out his room and get all the **** out of there! LOL I'm afraid of what I'll find!
Then, my next step will be to go through Kes's toys and pull out the "baby" toys and put those away for baby Squishy.

Hopefully those two steps will minimize their stuff enough so that it won't be such a chaotic "blend" of their stuff. There's things like stuffed animals and books that will just be mixed of course - but it's the other stuff I'm still trying to mentally figure out! LOL

I think we've got the furniture thing figured out - we'll need to buy a trunk for Sterling for his special stuff and a new toy box for the baby's room - since the one in Kessler's will be moving with him. Sterling already has a bookshelf, large dresser, we have a table and chair set, and Dan MAY incorporate a desk of some sort into the bunks... And he's got a neat toy organizer/bin thing. Can't explain it - but it holds and organizes A LOT of ****!! LOL

Sorry for listening to me ramble - just a lot of thoughts on my mind!!