My best friend miscarried at 19 weeks yesterday. She's asked that nobody phone her because she can't talk about it. What do I say to her? My heart is breaking for them. It was their first baby and they were SO SUPER EXCITED. And now this...

I'm not even sure what happened because she just texted to me tell me. I'll have to wait until she wants to talk about it to find out what exactly happened.

But 19 weeks? That's almost half way. It must have been something major right? They've been for scans and heard the heartbeat and everything. They were even going to find out the gender this week.

Any ideas on what could have caused this?

Typically by that time the change of a miscarriage are low. There had to either be something medically wrong with the baby or something went wrong with her body I would assume. I'm sure she is horribly depressed and saddened. Maybe instead of calling you can send her an email or something to just let her know you love her and are there as a shoulder if she needs one.

Awwww that is so sad. I would send her a card in the mail or send her an e-mail telling her that you are there if she needs you and that you care. Maybe even send her some flowers.

That's terrible...I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I would say sending a card or an email just letting her know that you're there for her whenever she is ready or needs a shoulder to cry on would be thoughtful. I can't imagine how difficult that must be.

The same thing happened to an ex-co worker's daughter. She told me that the placenta detached. I can't imagine how she's feeling. I would send an email to.

Oh, your poor friend! I know when that happened to me (though not that late into the pregnancy), I didn't want to talk to anybody, either. Who knows what happened and it may be that she may never want to really talk about it. I think an email would be good, but a card even nicer (everybody likes to get mail). All you can do is be there for her, even if she doesn't want it right yet.

I am so sorry, that is so sad. I had a friend find out at 18 weeks the baby died. She got pregnant shortly after the miscarriage and they just had the baby 2 weeks ago.
Maybe send her a card and then let her come to you when she is ready.

I found this...

Second TrimesterFetal Factors

Chromosomal and congenital abnormalities: similar to first trimester
Maternal factors

Anatomic anomalies: same as for first trimester; incompetent cervix (possibly secondary to previous cone biopsy); retained IUD
Immunologic factors: similar to first trimester
Poorly-controlled chronic illness or severe acute illness
Infection: bacterial vaginosis or intra-amniotic infection
Placental anomalies: placenta previa; placental abruption or hematoma
Thrombophilia
Other factors

Drug use; smoking; preterm premature rupture of membranes (often associated with incompetent cervix or intrauterine infection); teratogen exposure; trauma


Read more: http://pregnancychildbirth.sui...iage#ixzz0G4u5IAWh&B

Agree with the rest of the ladies to send her an email or a nice card to let her know you are thinking about her.

So sorry to hear that, maybe send her a nice card just to let her know you are thinking of her.

Big hugs to your friend. When my friend lost her baby at 13 weeks I cried with her at first. Then after a week she wanted me to be normal. She said when she went home she couldn't stop thinking about it but at school (we are both teachers) she wanted to not have us look at her with sad eyes and still joke around with her. I know everyone copes differently. Big hugs! I can't imagine her pain right now.

Aw how sad, hugs for her she will come around but until then I would contact her some other way and let her know that you are there for her. Who know maybe the 2 of you will get pregnant together!

That's really sad. I agree, I would send a card or something just to let her know you're here for her. Other than that, I wouldn't mention it until she's ready to bring it up.

I would send a card and maybe even an email. My sil had a late m/c and it really bothered her. Another idea, when I had my m/c my in laws all pitched in and bought a rose bush for me. It was a nice little thing that I really cherished, I planted it as a memorial.