It seems like so much time has already gone by! I honestly hope and pray that none of you have to go through what we've been through. Next month would have been our due date from the m/c. It's strange to think that 9 months has already gone by so quickly.

Anyways, we are considering adoption. My DH is pretty dead set against doing another round of IVF and I don't know if emotionally I could handle it again, especially since we have no guarantee. When we first started talking about adoption, we thought we would go international but there seems to be so much going on with bribes and having to buy people gifts etc (ex, digital cameras, pricey purses and this was for the Judge's assistant?) that we just don't feel comfortable with that.

So now we are looking at domestic adoption. I talked with a co-worker today who just adopted an infant and their story is so neat. But, the one hang-up is the "open" part of some adoptions. She said the birthmom emails them, which I would be ok with, but that she's had to say no to setting up blogs etc. My DH is afraid of it being too open and something going wrong and the courts over-ruling a previous decision. I know there are some that are semi-open so I guess we're just going to have to do our homework with all of this.

I don't know what I'm asking (can you tell); I guess I just needed to get things out. We're still not planning on doing anything until next year but I'm trying to learn and figure out what we're going to do so we can jump right in once we're ready.

Thanks for reading!

If you are truly interested in international adoption. Go through Holt International. My folks and a few other went through them and the are very good repitible.

I can sympathize with you - I have a friend who has gone through two rounds of IVF and nothing (and I think they're gearing up for try #3). I have suggested adoption, but they seem dead-set against that. So, if you end up going the adoption route, I'll have a good story to share with them. Good luck and keep us posted!

I will say a prayer for you guys, i hope it goes well and smoothly for you. I would feel the same way about the open part, that would make it tough.

Good luck with everything. I have a friend who adopted a baby girl in Rochester. It is an open adoption, the mom sees her, but the father doesn't. The little girl is now 5.

My friends adopted from Poland and didnt have any issues.

Good luck with the process, I hope it is a smooth one!

I will be praying for you.

I pray that you will get your baby in whatever way God blesses you.

I'll be praying for you and your decision.

Please keep in mind the stories of people changing their minds in domestic adoptions are rare occassions, but you tend to hear the horror stories more than the good ones even though they are far and few between! Just choose an established adoption agency and you will be fine. It's when you try to do things privately without an agency that things are more likely to get hairy and you have to worry about the courts. I just got the reference paperwork in the mail yesterday for my friend who is about to adopt her second child! It's such an exciting process for her!

As for the open thing...I get your apprehension. As an adopted child, I'm glad mine was closed and wish more adoptions still were. I think it made life easier. I've since met my birthparents. Closed adoptions are so rare now, but just b/c its open doesn't mean you will end up with a birthmother that really wants to be involved or updated. It just depends on the birthmother. The birthmother of my friends son has absolutely no contact with them. They send their pics and letters like they are required, but they get sent to a birth grandmother b/c the birthmother doesn't care.

Good luck in everything! I'll be praying its a quick journey for you!

Just to let you know that if you adopt through your state like I did it is closed or well until the child gets 18.

I will be praying for you on your decision.

I worked as a nanny for a copule that both ids were adopted. Both form the same bialogial parents and only 1 year 8 days apart. They are 13 and 12 now I think..lol.. Have yall thought about a suragate? I only ask becasue one of my firends is in the begining stages of the process of being a suragte. That way if it worked it would be your bio child.

quote:

Originally posted by Mom2gq:
I worked as a nanny for a copule that both ids were adopted. Both form the same bialogial parents and only 1 year 8 days apart. They are 13 and 12 now I think..lol.. Have yall thought about a suragate? I only ask becasue one of my firends is in the begining stages of the process of being a suragte. That way if it worked it would be your bio child.

Thanks guys!

No we haven't thought about a surrogate because every test I've had, I've been perfectly fine or ripe and fertile if you want to call it that I've always been very regular so no problems there. My DH has low everything and that's where our problem lies. We tried the IVF and a frozen cycle and had the miscarriage. I don't think I could go through that again. Then there's the option of going with donor sperm but I don't think either one of us are ready or willing for that. Just seems strange. We're excited about the possibilty of raising a child together.

I have been involved in 2 adoptions. We have adopted our daughter from foster care. It was a long process, and in your situation, I wouldn't recommend it. It was very drawn out, and it was a fight. (4 years long, I might add!!!)

Also, before DH and I got married he had a daughter. The biomom gave her up, and told DH a month before she was born, cuz he needed to sign. He was getting ready to deploy, so he went with it. It was a semi open, I guess... They were required to send pics every couple months the first year, then once a year for 3 years. Then it was done, and up to them. The couple who adopted have VERY good heads on their shoulders, and we talk to them often. It has actually been very nice. She emails us all the time, and we visit with her every couple years. We never say anything about adoption, but she has a pic of our family in her room, as same as she has a pic of her son's mom and kids in his room (she has adopted twice). She has a very open relationship with us. We in NO way feel like she is ours, she is totally theirs. In June we are going to visit in that area, so we will be staying with them for a day or 2. It was totally up to them, and this was THEIR choice. but it has been nice to see her grow up (she will be 5 this july). Anyway, it has been a very pleasant experience for everyone involved. On a side note though, the mom has told me how hard the adoption process was, as they had 3 other "babies" before Gianna, and once the baby was born, the mom backed out. They lost a lot of money as well. Nothing is easy. You just have to keep your chin up and pray. Good things will come to you!!!!

Aww hunny I hope things become more clear for you in the next year and so you can make more plans. I think Domestic adoption is very honereable there are sooo many children in desprate need of parents like you and they are right on your door step.

keep us updated darling and stay strong!